A major research institution has recently announced a new element,
known only to science.  The new element has been named
"GOVERNMENTIUM".  Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant
neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 11 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312.  These 312 particles are held
together by forces  called morons, which are surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.  Since governmentium
has no electrons, it is inert.  However, it can be detected as it
impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.  A minute amount of
governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete
when it would normally take less than a second.  Governmentium has
a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and
deputy neutrons exchange places.  In fact, governmentium's mass will actually
increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to
become neutrons, forming isodopes.  This characteristic of moron-
promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is
formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "CRITICAL MORASS".  You
will know it when you see it.